Saturday Sex

It's clear the relationship I am having will never work. I'm his best friends ex wife and he's already tried to sleep with my best friend. What a reel catch! He only wants what he can't have... like my married best friend or his best friends wife. Classy... I was willing to make excuses for "us" because I thought it was some star crossed romance long before Brad and Angelena entered into theirs. We embodied the idea of soul mates and for years I fantasized about him. Much to my suprise once I finally got to have him, all he wanted was sex. Figures.

My mom spoke what I was thinking yesterday. She said, "Mia and I know what a wonderful person you are, why can't these men see it?" I don't know. Maybe I'm not really wonderful and my family is just biased. Or maybe these men are scared little pussies, scrambling to make something of themselves and too self absorbed to love anyone but themselves. All I know is that I am tired of it. Where do I have to go for a man who will love me? I think the endearing name of our city lost a t at the end and should rightfully be called the city of Lost Angels. Good boys go to heaven and bad boys go to Los Angeles.

This man actually had the nerve to give me two options today. Cum over this morning and have sex... or meet up for lunch and do it in the afternoon. Being the greedy little sex fiend that I am, I chose both. But to my suprise after we finished the first round he plainly told me he had to go and wash his car, he'd see me later. I was shocked. Was he insinuating I leave? I asked him, "Can't I go with you?" and he said no, there are things he needs to do, alone. "But I have gone with you before, what is the problem?" He informed me he wouldn't even go there. "Where?" I was thinking... I couldn't believe he was going to fuck me and then ask me to leave. I told him that this was low, even for him. What was so important that I couldn't go along as usual? Getting his car cleaned? I am never off on a Saturday and thought we were going to spend it together when we agreed to have sex in the morning and afternoon. Arhhhggghhhgg.....

So being the mature and wise woman I pretend to be, after I'd left him, I broke up with him in a text message.... Take that !!!! He responded, "Wow! Thanks..." I told him to thank himself and asked him if he felt unappreciated.

See, to his immature mind this is all some big misunderstanding (like when he was trying to fuck my best friend), but the reality for me is that even if he needed some "me time" as he put it, one puts their own needs aside for their friends and lovers when times call for it. It's called being flexible, thoughtful, considerate. It is rare that I have a Saturday free, he could take his "me time" tomorrow when I have to work, but these thoughts do not cross through his selfish little mind.

Already I regret cutting him off, he brings me so much adrenaline and mischief, pleasure and pain... I love not knowing where the next fix will come from. I am rethinking my next move even now... if my true love knew how I let this guy treat me he would lose all respect for me. But then again he is 6,000 miles away with no plans to bring us together so....

Here I am..... alone again, naturally.

Mummy or Daughter????

Dating in LA is SO freaking wierd.... my mom and I are carbon copies of each other and have been since my birth. So much so strangers actually FREAK out in random bathrooms and bars. Tonight just exemplified what I have know, and brought it into our faces without want now that we are on the same playing field of love.... I remember the day that my mom pointed out that I was not a little girl anymore by the way the grown me were checking me out.

My mom and I are the best of friends and unlikely as it seems we have never been on the same competitive dating field until now.

One knows she is getting old when she has to do the math to discover if her beau is closer to her mothers age or hers. Men in their 40's have previously fallen into my mother's dating category but as times change, they become my prime candidates too. It is all getting so muttled.

Thus brings us to where we find ourselves tonight.... too late to catch the sold our drama at the local theatre, mummy and I make our way to dear ol' El Torito where we she makes friends with a handsome and slightly older Mexican in my absence to the bathroom. He sends her a drink, but wait, he can not believe the similarity between the two of us. Wow. He smooozes us both. He even has the nerve to ask us both out. That is when I tell him in my raspy voice that he should be asking her, all the while advising her to only give him her phone number and leave the rest up to him.

At this point I realize that I have to loan all of my dating books to my mom.... what not to divulge on the first few dates, etc.... We all do shots yet I keep this guys stare under lock and key and mami lets loose.

It's been a while.... She will learn. We leave the place after she tells him how loaded we will one day be and I tell her how absolutely important it is to NOT tell strangers that!

The whole way home she rants to herself how only her blood relatives will get her money and I fantasize about getting laid properly.....

We all have our priorities...

Hot single woman wants someone to enjoy life with...

These men are making me crazy! Hot single woman wants someone to enjoy life with... How hard is it to find a handsome, funny, emotionally and financially stable respondent? I'll tell you why it is almost impossible... people want what they can not have. It's the tarnished rule of life. Far from golden, it is still an inevitable truth. I refuse to be anything less than real and that doesn't play well in the dating game. The ultimate and sad reality is I among my fellow women, will hold onto a dream only as long as I can and when I give up, the man of my dreams will realize what he had and lost and only then will he want it, just as soon as it's gone. That is why it is unfortunate but true that more women than men file for divorce... We do have a limit to our unconditional love and patience. So consider yourself warned. I speak for my sisters... give us what we deserve, while we still want it. Or live with your losses.

Mr. Right Now

The relationship I am having with Mr. Right Now is starting to remind me of the same chaos and danger associated with my post high school drug dealing boyfriend. Our mothers use to say we were like nito and glycerine when we were together and once again I have the same taste of out of controlled excitement on my lips. It tastes so sweet I can't stop licking them, even though it makes me sick to my stomach.

We met out for a burlesque show in Hollywood Tuesday night and ended up getting drunk and DOWN on the dancefloor!!! Sooo much fun! The next thing I knew we were in the back seat of his car getting HOT and heavy, steaming up the windows and having the best drunk sex I've had in a very long time. That is until he tried, on multiple occasions, to make a forced and uninvited back door entry... at which point I shoved him off me and told him, "no means no! UGH!"

That's when I threw on my clothes and realized in the chaos I had lost my I.D., cash and car key! ... Ouch... We sobered up real quick backtracking first the area around the car (where we found my lacy black thong which he quickly claimed and deposited into his pocket) and further down the trail back to the closed down club. No luck...

We realized that I would have to make the trek back to Hollywood in the morning and headed to eat at Swinger's, appropriately named for patrons like us.

The next day, no thanks to him... 2 taxis, 2 bus rides and $200 later I got into my car and kissed my losses goodbye.

I take every day at face value with this guy.

He has made it clear that sex and good times are all he is interested in... and for the moment that is enough for me. But because he has shown me what he is capable of in the form of deceit and selfishness, I am not sure how long the good times will sustain us.

I am beginning to realize that I really feel best with a man in my life. Not because I need one, but because I enjoy one... But when the pain starts to out way the pleasure it is time to pull the plug.

So we will see how long we let the good times roll for....

It makes me sad that after waiting so long to finally date this guy (6 years) that all he is interested in is sex.

Oh well. There are plenty of fish in the sea and I am a very good at fishing... I bet you hundreds of dollars that he will come running when he finds out I am moving on. Bet me. Come on, I dare you.

Say What?

It is pretty sad that Mr. Right has fallen from grace and is only Mr. Right Now from now on. It seems his playful suggestion that we have a threesome with my hot bff/neighbor who is MARRIED turned serious behind my back and I caught the two moral-less sex addicts talking (and who really knows what else) much to my displeasure.

I told her that I expected this of him, but she was suppose to be my best friend. Men like him will cum and go, but women should stick together.

So I had to let her go.

But it wasn't a complete loss... I decided I couldn't take losing both of them at once and anyway, I want to be the one to decide when it's over between me and him. Maybe even hurt him the way he hurt me... So I kept him around for my enjoyment. I told him that I am just using him for sex now. It will never be beautiful or special between us again, he cut the legs out from under whatever "this" is... Since he is so freaking scared of commitment or titles. He pretty much squelched any hope of a future now... Mission accomplished, well done son.

So we are dating with wild abandonment when he is not traveling for work, I just hope he doesn't kill me with a S.T.D. or knock me up before I tire of the excitement.

I told him he broke my heart. It is such a shame that I have wanted to get to know him for so long and this is how I find out who he really is. He feels it was just a misunderstanding and tries to remind me of my part of the initial fantasy. But I remind him that I clearly said, "This will never REALLY happen because she is MARRIED, and I actually like and respect her husband, unlike you and her."

I have no idea where this crash course is headed, but I like the uncharted territory and the wild ride.